476 Probopass

It exudes strong magnetism from all over. It controls three small units called Mini-Noses. It also has three testicles called Mini-Noses so a researcher must be careful when examining a Probopass. Probopass is cunning and will use its base intelligence to insinuate itself into a host nation and destroy it from within. Often Probopass will be found in banks or stores that specialize in the sale of gems or precious metals. Probopass killed Jesus.

299 Nosepass

Its nose is a magnet. As a result, this Pokémon always keeps its face pointing north and travelers check Nosepass to get their bearings. It feeds on prey that is pulled in by the force. When endangered, it may protect itself by raising its magnetism and drawing iron objects to its body. If two of these Pokémon meet, they cannot turn their faces to each other when they are close because their magnetic noses repel one another. Its magnetism is stronger in cold seasons. Nosepass is considered the lamest Pokémon by most people in the know. This causes Nosepass to weep itself to sleep every night... its tears flowing down its hideous nose outcropping like a waterfall over a tremendously ugly and stupid cliff.

009 Blastoise

Blastoise has water spouts that protrude from its shell. These spouts are very accurate and can shoot bullets of water with enough accuracy to strike empty cans from a distance of over 160 feet.The jets of water it spouts from the rocket cannons on its shell can punch through thick steel. The pressurized water jets on this brutal Pokémon's shell are also used for high-speed tackles.
It has also been known to crush its foe under its heavy body. In a pinch, it will withdraw inside its shell and writes very personal love poetry. Blastoise is a cutter.

008 Wartortle

This Pokémon is very popular as a pet. Its large tail is covered with rich, thick fur that deepens in color with age. Its tail is a symbol of its longevity. For fast swimming, it moves its ears to maintain balance. The scratches on its shell are evidence of Wartortle's toughness in battle. It often hides in water to stalk unwary prey and it is said to live 10,000 years. Wartortle never forgets a slight and we are all its prey.

007 Squirtle

After birth, Squirtle's back swells and hardens into a shell. The shell is not merely used for protection. The shell's rounded shape and the grooves on its surface help minimize resistance in urine, enabling this Pokémon to swim at high speeds.When it retracts its long neck into its shell, it squirts out urine with vigorous force. It powerfully sprays urine from its mouth. It shelters itself in its shell, then strikes back with spouts of urine at every opportunity. Squirtle enjoys ladyboys and shepherd's pie. It has been known to hide in closets.

003 Venusaur

There is a large flower on Venusaur's back that blooms when it is absorbing solar energy. It is because of this that the Venusaur stays on the move seeking sunlight. The flower is said to take on vivid colors if it gets plenty of nutrition and sunlight and its bewitching aroma soothes the emotions of people. The aroma has been known to becalm those engaged in a battle. After a rainy day, the flower on its back smells stronger. The scent attracts other Pokémon. It stays on the move to seek sunlight. A male Venusaur in mating season will rut with anything he can get his phallus in. Venusaur drinks scotch.

002 Ivysaur

There is a bud on this Pokémon's back. If it starts spending more time lying in the sunlight, it's a sign that the bud will bloom into a large flower soon.There is a sweet aroma that indicates the flower's coming bloom.When the bulb on its back grows large, Ivysaur's legs grow thick and strong and it appears to lose the ability to stand on its hind legs. Ivysaur steak is a delicacy in the Johto region and subsequently it has been hunted to near extinction by poachers. Ivysaur drinks scotch.

001 Bulbasaur

At birth a seed is planted on Bulbasaur's back. The plant sprouts and grows with this Pokémon. For some time after its birth, Bulbasaur grows by gaining nourishment from the seed on its back. Often this Pokémon can be seen napping in bright sunlight. By soaking up the sun's rays, the seed grows progressively larger. Bulbasaur hates you and wants to eat your family. Bulbasaur drinks scotch.