Christopher Hitchens Shows the World Why Everyone Thinks He's Such a Dick

That's right, poke the bear with a stick in a foreign country.

In other news, I was recently attacked by a gang of angry evangelicals when I sodomized a life-sized reproduction of their Christ. I saw it sitting there, all harmless, on a park bench, and i knew I couldn't let the tyranny of their shitheadedness continue any longer. He, that smug zombie bastard, was the symbol around which they rallied, and I knew they would have to forsake him if I gave him the prison hello. So, unbuckling my pants, I stomped across the thoroughfare and proceeded to give that son of God replica a piece of my action. Where upon I was surrounded by a crowd of true believers, shouted at, pushed to the ground, and kicked at least once. I can tell you will all certainty that merely my pride was bruised, and I shall fight on. Tomorrow, I'll be in some other town, making a professional tit of myself and then attacking my enemies for the safety of a blog post. Because I'm just like Christopher Hitchens, a dick.