Overlook the crazy!

Just check out the sickass picture of the Breast of Armageddon.!

This is the "Beast Watch" section of the web page maintained by a militia recently scooped up by the FBI.
Additional interesting reading is research by the Southern Poverty Law Center which finds a startling rise in the numbers of right-wing hate groups in the last 18 months.

Jesus and his disciple, Dale.

The Bible, written by NASCAR.

Magic everywhere in this bitch!

Also, fucking magnets, how do they work?
Those two lines are my favorites. However, take a gander at this lyric sheet and tell me if you can find one better.

If magic is all we’ve ever know
Then it’s easy to miss what really goes on
But I’ve seen miracles in every way
And I see miracles everyday
Oceans spanning beyond my sight
And a million stars way above em at night
We don’t have to be high to look in the sky
And know that’s a miracle opened wide
Look at the mountains, trees, the seven seas
And everything chilling underwater, please
Hot lava, snow, rain and fog
Long neck giraffes, and pet cats and dogs
And I’ve seen eighty-five thousand people
All in one room, together as equals
Pure magic is the birth of my kids
I’ve seen shit that’ll shock your eyelids
The sun and the moon, and even Mars
The Milky Way and fucking shooting stars
UFOs, a river flows
Plant a little seed and nature grows
Niagara falls and the pyramids
Everything you believed in as kids
Fucking rainbows after it rains
there’s enough miracles here to blow your brains
I fed a fish to a pelican at Frisco bay
It tried to eat my cell phone, he ran away
And music is magic, pure and clean
You can feel it and hear it but it can’t be seen

Music is all magic
(Are you a believer in miracles)
You can’t even hold it
(Do you notice and recognize miracles)
it’s just there in the air
(Are you a believer in miracles)
Pure motherfucking magic Right?
This shit’ll blow your fucking mind
(Do you notice and recognize miracles)

Music is a lot like love, it’s all a feeling
And it fills the room, from the floor to the ceiling
[ Find more Lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.org/RFGe ]
I see miracles all around me
Stop and look around, it’s all astounding
Water, fire, air and dirt
Fucking magnets, how do they work?
And I don’t wanna talk to a scientist
Y’all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed
Solar eclipse, and vicious weather
Fifteen thousand Juggalos together
And I love my mom for giving me this
Time on this planet, taking nothing for granted
I seen a caterpillar turn into a butterfly
Miracles ain’t nothing to lie
Shaggy’s little boys look just like Shaggy
And my little boy looks just like daddy
Miracles each and every where you look
And nobody has to stay where they put
This world is yours for you to explore
there’s nothing but miracles beyond your door
The Dark Carnival is your invitation
To witness that without explanation
Take a look at this fine creation
And enjoy it better with appreciation
Crows, ghosts, the midnight coast
The wonders of the world, mysteries the most
Just open your mind, and it ain’t no way
To ignore the miracles of every day

(Are you a believer in miracles)
Magic everywhere in this bitch
(Do you notice and recognize miracles)
it’s all around you, you don’t even know it
(Are you a believer in miracles) Shit’s crazy
(Do you notice and recognize miracles,
So many miracles, the magic miracles)

Are you a believer in miracles
Do you have time for the miracles
Do you notice and recognize miracles
So many miracles, the magic miracles
Are you a believer in miracles
Do you have time for the miracles
Do you notice and recognize miracles
So many miracles, the magic miracles
Are you a believer in miracles
Do you have time for the miracles
Do you notice and recognize miracles
So many miracles, the magic miracles
Are you a believer in miracles
Do you have time for the miracles
Do you notice and recognize miracles
So many miracles, the magic miracles

 

Knowing that Juggalos see the world as an endless string of miracles and magic, that phenomena like the sun rising or balls of gas hanging in the night sky impossibly reflecting sun light, knowing that all this is inexplicable to them makes me feel a little bit better about them. This tells me that when the bombs fall, or when the undead rise, that we can simply scare them off with fire on a stick and go back to the serious business or raiding the closest Total Wine for "sanitizing agents."

Just when you thought Twilight fans couldn't get stupider

I present to you an open letter to Universal from a Twilight fan chastising the studio for, in her eyes, stealing Stephanie Meyers creation and destroying the concept of said creation. Seriously, these people need to get out more.

Favorite quote: "It gives werewolves a bad name and makes them look like some deformed mutation of a rabid dog." Follwed very closely by "How can a werewolf be killed by a silver bullet?"

The win is so intense it may scar your retinas.

Farmville and Mafia Wars used to lobby Congress

Yeah, middleman groups are using stupid Facebook gamers, astroturfing, and form letters to lobby Congress to BLOCK HEALTH CARE REFORM!
The gamer needs virtual currency, the middleman has lots, and the astroturfer wants Health Care to fail because they're all Insurance groups.
Why, just, just why?

$379 / 2br - Desire From a different kinds of Rehaunted Rent To Own Homes! (spokane)

Possibly the best Craigslist apartment listing EVAR!
"RENT TO OWN! Liquidation sale of foreclosures 2 bd 2 ba $379/mo Price is negotiable we have to Get rid of these homes Available to Purchase today! 5% down payment 30 years @ 8% Apr Call Number below are standing by to Schedule an appointment to see our homes For listings call now
For all listing call now XXX-XXX-XXXX
We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately -- Benjamin Franklin "


Ok, the listing title is better than the actual listing, but that the author closed with a quote so horrifyingly inappropriate saves it.

The Impossibly High Cost of Low Prices

He said wipe that shit out of your head.

He's here to save you!

Because acknowledging other cultures is cause for outrage

Fundies are pissed because BestBuy had the gall to mention a Muslim holiday in it's Thanksgiving weekend ad.

The Campaign Equivalent of an I-95 Billboard

This man is serious about his Frontpage extensions.

The Christians never fail at bringing the dumb to the party

The Christian Side Hug, the ecumenical way of saying, "don't bump me with your sex parts."

Sittin' on a Toilet

Half a belly full of Makers Mark tells me that the world needs to know about this.

A Mug Worth Considering

When we finally find the end of the Internets, and we will, mark my fucking words, this is the face that will greet us. The uninterested, disaffected, cherubic gob of this child. It is a face which crowns a personality both unintelligent and with out empathy. It is a Cyberman made doughy.
I find so much significance in this face for three reasons, and i believe that they all work in unison to divine the secret truths of the Internet, much like the innards of a slaughtered chicken tell the augur want next year's crops will turn out to be.
First, the pudgy fucker has a camera. The digital camera democratized porn, allowing any halfwit with no inhibition or sense to upload lurid, hastily snapped pictures of her or his bathing suit areas for all the world to ogle at. This device was one of the great levering hands that opened the flood gates of the Internets, and it hastened the fall of society, but fuck i like the stuff anyways. Nothing says sexy like poor impulse control and efficiency.
Second, the kid's white. Yeah, white is not likely the ethnicity most present around these parts, that honor goes to the Asians, but if there's any group more likely to bring about the end, it's us, if for no other reason than continuity. We did make the bomb after all.
The final truth about the Internets this exposes is, well, the chain. Yeah, that fucking chain, in all it's fished out of a coin operated claw game lameness. Jewlery, I contend, is the homeland of the vain, stupid, poor, or wealthy, but nost likely some combinattion of three. Jewelery, worn for reasons not ceremonial, is a way to display for social esteem and transport wealth. The fantasy of extravagant wealth is one the people defined above most often indulge in. This sad fucker, he can't even afford a proper chain, and what's more likely, his is probably inspired by Naruto, which is all the sadder.
So, I present for your consideration the picture we'll all find at the end of the Internets. Competing entrants are now being accepted, however, tub girl, goatse, other gross shit, and pics deemed too meta will be excluded from consideration. Enter if you dare, motherfuckers.

Maybe the best opening line ever used in a newspaper story

"A gay man tried to poison his lesbian neighbours by putting slug pellets into their curry after he was accused of kidnapping their three-legged cat."

Edit the Liberals out of the Bible

Because the Word has a known Liberal bias

Is this a reverse-Oedipusing?

And if so, who gets cursed and banished?

What could be the pilot for, "Ow! My balls!"

Guy decides shooting himself in the balls with a bottle rocket is a good idea.
What makes this video pure fucking art is the slo-mo replay and the camera man shouting "OOOOH! OOOOH FUCK!" THe slo-mo creates a reverb that is epic. Someone needs to cut this into a house track, call it "OOOOH FUCK! (The System is Burning Remix).

Also, i want to say how awesome it is that "ow, my balls" is a preexisting tag for this blog. Thanks everyone for making this possible.

To follow up the previous Godfuckingdamnit post

Godfuckingdamnit.