This Sweater

This sweater is fucking badass. You know why? Because it has a racing stripe! It says, Fuck you! I'm no one's grandpa! I'm a fucking Ferrari! Bring me a flapper and a Tommy gun!
This fucking sweater, no, this fucking cardigan sweater, the Cliff Huxtable of the sweater world, is fucking Airwolf! That's right! It's the haberdasher's equivalent of an experimental attack helicopter that fires light missiles!
EXCLAMATION POINT

OOOOOOOOOH! Guild of Calamitous Intent Tie Tack!

I may be wearing this to my next business meeting!

OOH! Ooh! Ooh!

I kinda want this tie.