Hot Chicks Smiling at Ground Zero.
There's a joke about how there's nothing there, but I can't pull it together.
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
How to Write Badly Well
A blog.
Begin your novel with the protagonist getting out of bed and seeing that it is raining outside, which perfectly mirrors his life
Jake opened his eyes and heard the rain battering against the outside of the glass window. Well, he thought grimly, it’s raining outside, and it’s certainly raining in my soul, which is about as inside as you can get.
It had only been seventeen days since he had lost his job and been dumped by his girlfriend, all of which made him very sympathetic without actually having to establish him as a character. Ever since that fateful day, he had been hearing the drip drip drip of his hopes (raindrops) and aspirations (hailstones) tumbling down onto the corrugated iron roof of his memory before disappearing forever down the drain of missed opportunities.
Begin your novel with the protagonist getting out of bed and seeing that it is raining outside, which perfectly mirrors his life
Jake opened his eyes and heard the rain battering against the outside of the glass window. Well, he thought grimly, it’s raining outside, and it’s certainly raining in my soul, which is about as inside as you can get.
It had only been seventeen days since he had lost his job and been dumped by his girlfriend, all of which made him very sympathetic without actually having to establish him as a character. Ever since that fateful day, he had been hearing the drip drip drip of his hopes (raindrops) and aspirations (hailstones) tumbling down onto the corrugated iron roof of his memory before disappearing forever down the drain of missed opportunities.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Snacks and Shit
Snacks and Shit
In their own words.
"No room service just snacks and shit."
- Jay-Z, Hey Papi
This is the line that started our whole obsession with rap and hip-hop lyrics.
Honestly, this sounds more like something my dad would say. "Remember, no ordering room service. It's too expensive. Plus, I brought snacks."
This blog is about rap and hip-hop lyrics that are absolutely absurd, ludicrous, nonsensical, ridiculous, basic, basically stupid, basically bad, basically basic, or preposterous. We also take some lines and examine them literally. In the words of one of our critics, we are "willfully obtuse". Call it what you want. Hopefully we don't get capped. You have to understand that we really do love rap and all of these artists that we kid about."
In their own words.
"No room service just snacks and shit."
- Jay-Z, Hey Papi
This is the line that started our whole obsession with rap and hip-hop lyrics.
Honestly, this sounds more like something my dad would say. "Remember, no ordering room service. It's too expensive. Plus, I brought snacks."
This blog is about rap and hip-hop lyrics that are absolutely absurd, ludicrous, nonsensical, ridiculous, basic, basically stupid, basically bad, basically basic, or preposterous. We also take some lines and examine them literally. In the words of one of our critics, we are "willfully obtuse". Call it what you want. Hopefully we don't get capped. You have to understand that we really do love rap and all of these artists that we kid about."
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Stuff White People Like
This blog is great. Some excerpts.
#2 - Religions that their parents don’t belong to
White people will often say they are “spiritual” but not religious. Which usually means that they will believe any religion that doesn’t involve Jesus.
Popular choices include Buddhism, Hinduism, Kabbalah and, to a lesser extent, Scientology. A few even dip into Islam, but it’s much more rare since you have to give stuff up and actually go to Mosque.
Mostly they are into religion that fits really well into their homes or wardrobe and doesn’t require them to do very much.
#28 Not having a TV
The number one reason why white people like not having a TV is so that they can tell you that they don’t have a TV.
On those lonely nights when white people wish they could be watching American Idol, Lost, or Grey’s Anatomy, they comfort themselves by thinking of how when people talk about the show tomorrow they can say “I didn’t see it, I don’t have a TV. That stuff rots your brain.”
It is effective in making other white people feel bad, and making themselves feel good about their life and life choices.
Though these people often fill their time by talking with other friends who don’t watch TV about how they don’t watch TV, looking at leaves, cooking, reading books about left wing politics, and going to concerts/protests/poetry slams.
Generally this makes them very boring and gives you very little to talk to them about. It’s important that you NEVER suggest they are making a mistake or that there is a value to owning a TV. You should just try to steer the conversation to allow them to talk about how they are better than you.
#2 - Religions that their parents don’t belong to
White people will often say they are “spiritual” but not religious. Which usually means that they will believe any religion that doesn’t involve Jesus.
Popular choices include Buddhism, Hinduism, Kabbalah and, to a lesser extent, Scientology. A few even dip into Islam, but it’s much more rare since you have to give stuff up and actually go to Mosque.
Mostly they are into religion that fits really well into their homes or wardrobe and doesn’t require them to do very much.
#28 Not having a TV
The number one reason why white people like not having a TV is so that they can tell you that they don’t have a TV.
On those lonely nights when white people wish they could be watching American Idol, Lost, or Grey’s Anatomy, they comfort themselves by thinking of how when people talk about the show tomorrow they can say “I didn’t see it, I don’t have a TV. That stuff rots your brain.”
It is effective in making other white people feel bad, and making themselves feel good about their life and life choices.
Though these people often fill their time by talking with other friends who don’t watch TV about how they don’t watch TV, looking at leaves, cooking, reading books about left wing politics, and going to concerts/protests/poetry slams.
Generally this makes them very boring and gives you very little to talk to them about. It’s important that you NEVER suggest they are making a mistake or that there is a value to owning a TV. You should just try to steer the conversation to allow them to talk about how they are better than you.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
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