HAH

No words.

Just watch.

Geek Tattoo FAIL

A Mug Worth Considering

When we finally find the end of the Internets, and we will, mark my fucking words, this is the face that will greet us. The uninterested, disaffected, cherubic gob of this child. It is a face which crowns a personality both unintelligent and with out empathy. It is a Cyberman made doughy.
I find so much significance in this face for three reasons, and i believe that they all work in unison to divine the secret truths of the Internet, much like the innards of a slaughtered chicken tell the augur want next year's crops will turn out to be.
First, the pudgy fucker has a camera. The digital camera democratized porn, allowing any halfwit with no inhibition or sense to upload lurid, hastily snapped pictures of her or his bathing suit areas for all the world to ogle at. This device was one of the great levering hands that opened the flood gates of the Internets, and it hastened the fall of society, but fuck i like the stuff anyways. Nothing says sexy like poor impulse control and efficiency.
Second, the kid's white. Yeah, white is not likely the ethnicity most present around these parts, that honor goes to the Asians, but if there's any group more likely to bring about the end, it's us, if for no other reason than continuity. We did make the bomb after all.
The final truth about the Internets this exposes is, well, the chain. Yeah, that fucking chain, in all it's fished out of a coin operated claw game lameness. Jewlery, I contend, is the homeland of the vain, stupid, poor, or wealthy, but nost likely some combinattion of three. Jewelery, worn for reasons not ceremonial, is a way to display for social esteem and transport wealth. The fantasy of extravagant wealth is one the people defined above most often indulge in. This sad fucker, he can't even afford a proper chain, and what's more likely, his is probably inspired by Naruto, which is all the sadder.
So, I present for your consideration the picture we'll all find at the end of the Internets. Competing entrants are now being accepted, however, tub girl, goatse, other gross shit, and pics deemed too meta will be excluded from consideration. Enter if you dare, motherfuckers.

The saddest little Gundam of them all

Jimmy wanted so badly to be like the rest of the Mobile Suit: Gundam warriors, but fate had cursed him to be born a fat kid from the fifth moon of Saturn. Until the day he died, he tried to fly like the mighty Gundam, right up until the moment he choked on a chunk of General Tso's Space Chicken too big to swallow. He died choking out the words "zoom."
Here's a few more sad fuckers

This is win.

see more pwn and owned pictures

I'm not sure if I shared this.

I was cruising down Beach Blvd about a year and a half ago and saw this van. It had not been washed in a very long time, and the driver was one of those people you see and immediately KNOW is a pedophile. I managed to whip out my phone in time to snap this photo.

Softwear by Microsoft

Common, the dude who wrote I used to Love Her, has lost his mind, never had one, or been subjected to the MicroSoft-nanites attack from the Stepford Wives remake. That can be the only explanation for why he has bought into this crude and johnny-come-lately marketing ploy to make MS look cool again. The worst part about this is that he allowed MS to use his song, his fucking masterpiece actually, "I Used to Love Her," a song about how hip hop had strayed from its roots and how, after anthropomorphizing it into a woman, it is a woman he no longer loves or even recognizes. That, sadly, may be the biggest shock and tragedy this campaign exposes: that all hip hop greats will inevitably succumb to materialism. KRS-One, Common, Talib Kweli, Mos Def (sorta), each has cashed in his cultural credit for material gain. And i think it's time to club you all over the head with my soap box here, so i'll ask, is this the case? Is hip hop an inherently materialistic art form, or redefined, is it souly (intentional) profit driven? Or is this the reality of professional musicians, that they have to make money and one way to do that is to sell themselves (which they already are)?
Whatever, i'm going to go salve my sorrows with some boobs and death metal. Fuck you.

Stop The Abortion Doughnuts

I'm fucking serious.

Microsoft releases Songsmith

What is Songsmith?
Songsmith generates musical accompaniment to match a singer’s voice. Just choose a musical style, sing into your PC’s microphone, and Songsmith will create backing music for you. Then share your songs with your friends and family, post your songs online, or create your own music videos.



Let's overlook the critique this heap of digital shit offers of the preference and privilege Microsoft engineers assign to singers (not vocalists but singers) rather than EVERYONE ELSE WHO MAKES MUSIC. I just want to imagine this ad having a completely different opening, one that strays into "To catch a predator" territory, not because i'm into that kind of thing, but because i think Microsoft holds music creation in the same regard as child rape.

FAIL in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Bibleman Loses the Faith

The actor who until recently played Bibleman tried to commit suicide over the holidays.

Just wait for it.

Srlsy.

Wait, what?

Craigslist Heist, the next great Scorsese film

http://www.king5.com/topstories/stories/NW_100108WAB_monroe_robber_floating_escape_TP.ce3930c1.html

Congress Interwebs Mashup

FAILOUT!

CNN and Large Hadron Collider

So, everyone knows about this thing and what it did last week, right? Well, the morning before European scientists conducted their test with it, CNN ran a story on their morning news program with a teaser claiming that some people, not scientists, but some people thought that the world might end if the Large Hadron Collider were used. And what source did CNN's reporters use for their counter point story? Who gave them their dissenting opinion? Fucking Youtube. Yup, CNN once again proves that is strives for a level of journalistic excellence only slightly higher than Fox News or 4chan.

LHC DIVIDES BY ZERO!

In Response To Allen's Cotton Gin Remark

more funny fail pictures at FAIL Blog

You get Nothing! You Lose! Good Day, Sir!