They rapin errbody!

Hide your Brendan. Hide your Chip!

Helps me get by.

Coping mechanism for the internet.

What's amusing, in an intertnez troll kind of way?

This, not so much this this, but definitely this.

Chatroulette

Anyone tried this site out yet? I found this Atlantic article about it, and though it in no way compels me to try what seems like an ego destroying trap of 4chan proportions, I still like the idea of a site that randomly selects a chat partner for you, and you can't apply any filters to the random selection.
After reading the article, though, I was left with the image of this service being like a shitty high school RPG and each Chatroulette interaction is the equivalent of your hero person talking with a random student, but most of them are dudes and one in ten is an erect cock.

Oh, yeah, and happy TWO THOUSAND posts and comments. I don't know how we made it this far without one Goatse or shitting dick nipple.

A Mug Worth Considering

When we finally find the end of the Internets, and we will, mark my fucking words, this is the face that will greet us. The uninterested, disaffected, cherubic gob of this child. It is a face which crowns a personality both unintelligent and with out empathy. It is a Cyberman made doughy.
I find so much significance in this face for three reasons, and i believe that they all work in unison to divine the secret truths of the Internet, much like the innards of a slaughtered chicken tell the augur want next year's crops will turn out to be.
First, the pudgy fucker has a camera. The digital camera democratized porn, allowing any halfwit with no inhibition or sense to upload lurid, hastily snapped pictures of her or his bathing suit areas for all the world to ogle at. This device was one of the great levering hands that opened the flood gates of the Internets, and it hastened the fall of society, but fuck i like the stuff anyways. Nothing says sexy like poor impulse control and efficiency.
Second, the kid's white. Yeah, white is not likely the ethnicity most present around these parts, that honor goes to the Asians, but if there's any group more likely to bring about the end, it's us, if for no other reason than continuity. We did make the bomb after all.
The final truth about the Internets this exposes is, well, the chain. Yeah, that fucking chain, in all it's fished out of a coin operated claw game lameness. Jewlery, I contend, is the homeland of the vain, stupid, poor, or wealthy, but nost likely some combinattion of three. Jewelery, worn for reasons not ceremonial, is a way to display for social esteem and transport wealth. The fantasy of extravagant wealth is one the people defined above most often indulge in. This sad fucker, he can't even afford a proper chain, and what's more likely, his is probably inspired by Naruto, which is all the sadder.
So, I present for your consideration the picture we'll all find at the end of the Internets. Competing entrants are now being accepted, however, tub girl, goatse, other gross shit, and pics deemed too meta will be excluded from consideration. Enter if you dare, motherfuckers.

Internet Humor 101

Kevin Pollack has a streaming TV show

and the man still does an amazing Jack Nicholson impression

Cyber crime as for-pay service

This is the free market gone super saiyan.